Five Minutes Is Not Premature: Dr. Joshua Gonzalez on How Long Men Should Last In Bed | Episode 21
One of the biggest myths about sex is that men are supposed to last forever. Movies suggest it.
Pornography reinforces it.
Social media amplifies it.
But according to urologist Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, many men who believe they have premature ejaculation actually fall well within the average range.
The problem isn't always performance.
Often, it's expectation.
What This Episode Explores
"It's never too early to take your sexual health seriously." — Dr. Joshua Gonzalez
Men's sexual health is surrounded by misinformation, unrealistic standards, and unnecessary shame.
In this episode, Dr. Joshua Gonzalez explains what he sees every day in his practice as a men's sexual health specialist. From erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation to testosterone, fertility, confidence, and social media, he separates medical reality from cultural myth.
He also shares why men should stop waiting until something goes wrong before seeing a specialist—and why prevention may be the most overlooked strategy in sexual wellness.
Guest Introduction
"It's not an issue unless it's causing you personal distress or it's affecting your relationship." — Dr. Joshua Gonzalez
Dr. Joshua Gonzalez is a board-certified urologist specializing in men's sexual health, hormone optimization, erectile dysfunction, male fertility, and sexual medicine. He is also the co-founder of Popstar Labs, a physician-founded men's sexual wellness company focused on evidence-informed supplements and products designed to address real concerns patients bring into the clinic.
Known for making complex medical topics approachable to his half a million followers on TikTok, Dr. Gonzalez combines evidence-based medicine with practical advice that helps men better understand their bodies and improve their overall health.
3 Key Takeaways
Most men dramatically overestimate how long they should last during sex, creating unnecessary anxiety around performance.
Sexual wellness is closely connected to overall physical and mental health, including hormones, sleep, exercise, stress, and lifestyle.
The best time to protect your sexual health is before problems begin—not years after symptoms appear.
Who This Episode Is For
Couples navigating sexual performance concerns
Healthcare professionals, sex therapists, and sexual health professionals
People interested in male fertility and hormone health
Anyone wanting evidence-based information about men's sexuality
In This Episode, We Cover
How long should men last in bed?
What actually counts as premature ejaculation?
Why is erectile dysfunction so common?
What causes delayed ejaculation?
How do SSRIs affect sexual function?
Why is male fertility declining?
What should every man know before age 30?
Men’s Sexual Health Quick Answer Section
How long should men last during sex?
According to Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, many men mistakenly believe lasting five to ten minutes means they have premature ejaculation. In reality, ejaculation within that range is generally considered average or even above average. Clinically, premature ejaculation is typically defined as ejaculation occurring within about one minute of penetration along with a loss of control and personal distress.
Should men see a sexual health specialist before they have problems?
Yes. Dr. Gonzalez recommends establishing care with a men's sexual health provider in your twenties whenever possible. Baseline hormone testing, fertility evaluation, and discussions about lifestyle can help preserve sexual function long before symptoms develop.
Expanded Insight
"People feel kind of alone if they're having problems with sexual performance." — Dr. Joshua Gonzalez
One of the most valuable moments in this conversation comes when Dr. Gonzalez addresses a question he hears almost every day:
"Do I have premature ejaculation?"
For many men, the answer is no.
They simply have unrealistic expectations.
Pornography has created the impression that penetrative sex should last for an hour or more.
Clinical reality looks very different.
Many men who seek treatment because they believe they're ejaculating "too quickly" are actually within completely expected ranges.
Understanding that difference can immediately reduce shame and anxiety.
Another important insight is that sexual health rarely exists in isolation.
Erectile dysfunction, low libido, delayed ejaculation, fertility challenges, and changes in testosterone often overlap with stress, anxiety, depression, sleep quality, cardiovascular health, and relationship dynamics.
Rather than viewing these concerns as purely physical—or purely psychological—Dr. Gonzalez encourages a more integrated approach.
That philosophy also shapes how he practices medicine.
Patients may work with physicians, sex therapists, pelvic floor physical therapists, primary care providers, and mental health professionals simultaneously.
As he explains, sexual health truly "takes a village."
The conversation also explores an issue receiving growing attention worldwide: declining male fertility.
Research suggests sperm counts have been decreasing globally for decades.
While scientists continue investigating the reasons, likely contributors include environmental exposures, lifestyle factors, delayed parenthood, and broader changes affecting hormone health.
Instead of waiting until a couple struggles to conceive, Dr. Gonzalez recommends something many people have never considered:
Know your baseline.
Just as people monitor blood pressure or cholesterol, understanding hormone levels and fertility earlier in life creates opportunities for prevention rather than crisis management.
Ultimately, perhaps the most refreshing message throughout the episode is this:
You don't need to be perfect.
You don't need to perform like pornography.
And you certainly don't need to suffer in silence.
Most concerns men experience are far more common—and far more treatable—than they realize.
Listen to the Episode
Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube to hear Dr. Joshua Gonzalez explain what every man should know about erections, ejaculation, fertility, hormones, confidence, and why better sexual health starts long before problems appear.
Related Topics
Beyond Erections - Hormones and Sexual Function with Dr. Amy Pearlman | Episode 10
Performance Anxiety, Connection, and What Actually Works | Caitlin V | Episode 8
The Guide to Your Backdoor | With Renowned Anal Surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein | Episode 3
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The Sexology Lab explores the intersection of sexual health, psychology, and culture. Through expert conversations, we challenge outdated narratives and provide research driven insights into relationships, desire, and human behavior.
